Pls, hilp. Pirated documents.

This strip was not sanctioned by the King of Elphia. This is a joke that stand-up Emily Galati tells (or told, if you're reading this in future).

Please, help. I don't even know if it can be re-gifted.

Yes, we've both experienced this. This is what I hate so much about the Xmass and birthdays: we have be conditioned in our capitalistic society to believe that the only way we can show our appreciation for someone is by gifting them. But! But! A) I am eclectic. I like lots of different things for lots of different reasons, you may not be able to figure out my reasons because they are mostly due to circumstance. B) Most of us in this country have more than enough shit and if we don't have it, it's probably because we haven't needed it. C) The feeling that you "have to" get someone anything sucks the joy right out of the gift of giving. I say, if you're going to give, which is totally a legitimate desire, do it when you feel like doing it.

Please, help. There was something amiss with the pizza toppings.

If you get it, you get it. If not, wait until you're older.

Please, help. I keep cracking the egg.

Any questions?