Please, help. The Lord works in mysterious and overbearing ways.

...and out a distant galaxy stepped God! Phasing into existence right in front of a nut crank machine. Apparently even God knows that the best nut you ever got comes from an Elphian Nut Crank ®. I just wish that he had replaced the floor when he left.

Please help. The later bird gets a foot bath.

Why does it seem that the lazy seem to be smart enough to find ways to mooch off of other people but not smart enough to be able to get those things for themselves?