Please, help. She was filthy.

But that was part of her charm. You couldn't believe the innocence of the look that she would give as she splashed the slimiest muck in your face. I went every Saturday for a year.

Please, help. She's a he!

Surprise! You're gay!

Please, help. Teeth are bones.

Rolling dice in the yard... the usual. i had already bet away all of my chocolate. i tried to shit out more but it looked like I was just gonna have to wait... Toothfairy says teeth.... I feel lucky.... Don't fuck with her, kids. She's a real mean summabitch.

Please, help. I had everything going for me.

Please, help. No can has been left untapped.

A cola would have never even considered a sprite before... stupid color! Citizens, I regret to inform you that this change we're going through is completely out of your government's hands. Put we are a strong people. And we will survive.

Please, help. I have never seen such brilliance.

It came much earlier than we supposed! Deep gray alert! Deep gray alert! Color is forcing it's way into our kingdom! We may be able to resist it a little longer. Only see things in black and white. Focus now! on what is right! and what is wrong! Differences. The color says that there is a spectrum and always leads back to itself. We can't have that, we need clear definition. Lines and empty space!

Please, help. I'm prone to be left. (cousin part 1)

Print this one and line it up with, "Please, help. I'm always right." Seriously, funnier in tandem. Especially after it has properly aged.

Please help. I am always right. (cousin part 2)

You should seriously print this one out and save it. As the comic oxidizes it will be come funnier. Guaranteed.