Please, help. She was filthy.

But that was part of her charm. You couldn't believe the innocence of the look that she would give as she splashed the slimiest muck in your face. I went every Saturday for a year.

pleez help. i iz purty shore they leff-ted me out hair

No one ever told me what a snipe looked like. I was just supposed to go out and find it. Remind you of anything? What is Life? is correct! We're all just out hunting snipes. Whatever they are.

Please, help. I've been there, doing that.

We have one rule about psychedelics in Elphia it goes something like this (although I may be paraphrasing a bit here): "You are welcome to do as much [brainfireworks] as you want as long as you stay in this glass case for all of us to observe you and you don't kill yourself." The kids always get a kick out of those exhibits.

Please, HELP!!! The Movie

In this fifteen minute animated sequence the mouse finds his way into a creepy looking shack in the middle of the night under a full moon on Friday the 13th. He knows he should not be here. The old man at the gate warned him to turn back but he was too curious, he had to push on. Seconds after the information is useful, lightning illuminates the message on the wall. "Please, help," it reads in blood. "The FacePlant will kill you." At that moment, the plant leaps off of the table and at the thoroughly suspecting mouse. The mouse lets out a shriek, not very manly but he's never been in this situation before. At least he doesn't have any drawers to mess. His pellets fall straight to the floor. Our hero's only chance is the swinging the rusty axe at his own face! The plant worm it's way down his throat and into his lungs. He's coughing and sputtering... is this the end...? "Wait," he thinks. "I kind of like this plant." Happy 4/20.

Please, help... the ol' ball 'n' chain.

It's funny how things that you don't like about yourself can so slowly become your permanent habits. Like chewing your nails or smoking. "It's just this once and then I won't do it anymore," you say to yourself. But then you find yourself doing it more and more. And doing it even when you're not prompted by the outside stimulus that was making it happen before. Then notice by contrast how hard it is to keep good habits going? You can try and try to make something like going to the gym or eating better part of your routine but you slip up once or twice and nada. So here's my idea, make the things that are good for you like guilty pleasures. And punish yourself with things like chocolate and cigarettes.

Please, help. That mouse has HUGE balls.

please help. i muzt eet

Yes, yes. I know it's Tuesday but it's the fattest in the land. So cheers. Don't forget to give something up for a while.