The King is back!

Citizens rejoice! I have spent time away to learn from the rulers of neighboring fiefdoms and am returning stronger than ever. You will notice some distinct changes: Full color. Shadows. The loss of the "please, help..." tag & the new meme format. Evolution is a constant process and your king is no different.

Please help. I'm a werewolf in sheep clothing.

It's funny how you can never escape from your own experiences. I was raised in the American Church Conglomerate by a wild pack of fundamentalists. Our sect was different than other versions of American Christianity in that it was stressed that the Bible was, in fact, literally true. We were steeped in the gospel from birth until I left home. Yeagh.

Fast forward to the present where I live very far from that world and that life. I'm the King of Elphia for Christ's sake. I mean, really, how much farther away can you get? From anywhere, truth be told. So I got a weird sense of nostalgia when I climbed into a cab and the driver began to proselytize me. Weirder still, suddenly all of the scriptures that I was made to memorize for candy and promises of heaven came rushing back, pouring from my mouth like sweet water from a rock. I wish that I had had an outside perspective on this situation and that the only thing was actually coming from my mouth was, "baa, baa!"

Please, help. I've never seen 1 that could keep.

Like most of these pictures, this really happened to me. That cat never really had a writable name. It was a sound that she came too. Ktty. Like a click and a hiss. She used to adore me. Would only be obedient when I asked her nicely. As she got older and felt she could get away with more things she stopped listening. So I had to stop asking her for things and started demanding them instead. Oh, she hissed, that one. Ha. And then would tear things up while I was away. Or relationship ended with a hiss as she snarled at me one last time and a click as I slowly shut the door.

Please, help. We had no idea that there was a soul trapped in there.

The last few days haven't been so bad for us. More and more we've been getting used to our changing world. We have noticed that color has been emerging from places where love exists. It's funny. No one expected it to come from the hugging machine. I guess we all only think of that thing when we need a hug but I guess a lot of people use it. It changed before most of the churches here did, is all I'm saying

Please, help. My long neck makes my head an easy target.

It took me awhile to realize that if I escaped from the cage I was in and went out into the wild they would have harder time throwing rocks. Because out here I have the advantage.

Please, help. There are more demeaning fashion trends but I can't think of any.

You know what I'm saying. It's especially true with dogs out here but in Elphia the most popular thing to miniaturize and carry around are the bisons. The ever popular pocket book bison. It's estupid.

Please, help. Even goat guys sing the blues.

Please, help. That mouse has HUGE balls.

Please, help...it's always a little skeezy in front of Hal's

Crime seems to be drawn to Hal's like a magnet. I don't know why, Hal's really nice guy. Beats me, really.