Please, help. My sweetie is too far away to kiss.

Out on the farthest out reaches of our kingdom, a treeman stands post, looking out into the desert for the return of the Man. The Man, it is fortold, will point the way to the mythical city in the desert. I have been there only once and nearly did not make it back. If our treeman spies a way back to the Man then we'll all be notified at once.

Have a happy new year.

Pleez, help. {chomp} {/chomp}

Please, help. The holidays lack meaning for me and the man in the mirror.

Please, help. I'm jealous of child stars.

Sure, they get fucked up psychologically because they have to make adult choices when they should be enjoying the lack of responsibilities but they do get to have the nation's attention while they're growing boobs.

Please, help. No matter how you slice it, it doesn't get more interesting than in and out.

Please, help. She's a he!

Surprise! You're gay!

Please, help. I never get what I want for X-mas.

Cos she's always playing just out of reach.

Please, help. The eye stalk creates a crater in your forehead.

Holy crap enlightenment can be painful. It's not so bad until the third eye takes root and cracks your frontal bones apart. That can be a bitch. Because that rift changes the way that you see everything. And once it's taken root there is no going back. You can close your new eye but you can't stop the visions.

Please, help. One letter can make all the difference.

Please, help. Teeth are bones.

Rolling dice in the yard... the usual. i had already bet away all of my chocolate. i tried to shit out more but it looked like I was just gonna have to wait... Toothfairy says teeth.... I feel lucky.... Don't fuck with her, kids. She's a real mean summabitch.

Please, help us remember not to fire the guns in the spacecraft.

Fights are stupid. Especially if you care about the person you're fighting with. Because at the end even if turns out you were right you still have to deal with the repercussions of them being wrong. Or the things that you did in the meanwhile which may have drastic results later. Sure, the volleys may have only peppered the hull with micro-abrasions but the divots will be where the stress fractures form when we go for re-entry.