The Adventures of Buttman: The Streets

Just keep your headlights up, Rolls.

I try to bike around the kingdom as often as possible. I love it. Generally you can get wherever you need to faster than if you had taken public transportation or driven. Plus there are sooo many places to park. I just want to make sure that our big brothers are looking out for us. If we hit you, you get dented. If you hit us, we're broken.

Pleez, help. {chomp} {/chomp}

Please, help. I'm jealous of child stars.

Sure, they get fucked up psychologically because they have to make adult choices when they should be enjoying the lack of responsibilities but they do get to have the nation's attention while they're growing boobs.

Please, help. I never get what I want for X-mas.

Cos she's always playing just out of reach.

Please, help. My shadow shortens the closer they get.

Less and less people are being shocked by the color. It's becoming almost a daily accorance with more and more popping in each day. It's like the day we all bloom into adulthood.

Please help us deal with it in our own private way.

Candle massacre on his 22nd birthday. Proof again that life is wildly out of our control. We're stuck in the frosting of our reality.

Please, help. We had no idea that there was a soul trapped in there.

The last few days haven't been so bad for us. More and more we've been getting used to our changing world. We have noticed that color has been emerging from places where love exists. It's funny. No one expected it to come from the hugging machine. I guess we all only think of that thing when we need a hug but I guess a lot of people use it. It changed before most of the churches here did, is all I'm saying

Please, help. I'm too heavy for this ship.

I don't remember why I started drawing this one. There was something happening in the house that I didn't feel big enough to face so I figured it would be easier if I just shipped myself away from the trouble. It obviously wasn't that big of a deal, I'm still alive, aren't I?

Please, help. One is the loniest number.

When everyone has left Elphia for the weekend (which sometimes happens, although not too much anymore, thank the Universe) the streets get very, very quiet. You may imagine quiet to try to get some comparable idea. Think about the vacuum of space. It's like that except quieter. Any noise is like the universe collapsing back in on itself. Loneliness is lonely.

Please, help me get Cap'd.

Those Caps sure are handy. I have a couple different ones that I wear depending on my mood. The one I'm wearing now is called Fog Machine.

Please, help... the end of the road.

I graduated at the top of my class in high school. Does anybody give a flying f**k? Likewise, right now I'm the best employee at my job & I only care because it gives me some nice perks. But is it going to matter once I leave that place? Aren't we all just graduating from one college to the next, to the next. We get to the highest level and then have to start over on the lowest as we progress. Even if we become the ruling force on this planet, we're still stuck on a tiny little planet in the vast sea of space.

Please, help. I am more than a piece of mincemeat pie.

I am really tired of being treated like just a hot piece of ass. I mean, I am so on the one hand it's understandable but at the same time it's like, "Dude! Chicas! There is more to me than this animated meat sack you see before you!" I think more than I do anything else. I am a ball of creative energy. I can fü¢k you sideways all night long but could we also sit around, talk and cuddle? I am both interesting & interested in how your mind works.

Please, help me resolidify.

On February 24, 2009 I drew my 222nd comic. A proud achievement for all of us here in my kingdom. We have had a private orgy for the last 18 days. Pure ecstasy for everyone involved including, of course, the babies and old people. I am always jealous of them. They always seem to have the most fun.

As a gift from us to you, here is our most recent strip.

Please just doesn't help sometimes.

Also based on a true story. He told me his name was Mike. The conversation went like this,

"Hello, my name is Mike."
"What's up, Mike."

"Hello, my name is Mike."
"Right."

"Now you know my name."
"Yep, Mike. I do."

"What's your name?"
"[The King of Elphia]."

"We're friends now, see? We're friends?"
"I'm not really sure that's - "
"You got some change? Please. I didn't know it was gonna get so cold out here."

Yeah, it's more interesting as a comic. Pretty much everything is more interesting as a comic.

Please, help. Boy-cats can be soo dumb.

P.S. (added 1/26) I got a new kitten this week! His name is Mister Avel BumperCars. He is pretty dumb but so, sooo cute.

Please help. The joke's at my expense.

Don't look to hard to find the joke in this one. If you're buying from corporate coffee houses it's on you, too.

Please help everyone except the aliens.

Since I made you sit through all those old ones here are some of the most recent. I like this one because it's so simple. Enough said.

Please, help. Gender reassignment did nothing for me.

Please, help. Being the black sheep doesn't make me special.

Once again, in front of Hal's Video. You gotta be careful of that neighborhood, it's an absolute sketch fest.