Please, help. He's losing his innocence just by being around me.

This one is dedicated to my friend, Aaron a straight-edge Christian. This is what I would imagine that he would do if he was making porn.

Please, help. I am more than a piece of mincemeat pie.

I am really tired of being treated like just a hot piece of ass. I mean, I am so on the one hand it's understandable but at the same time it's like, "Dude! Chicas! There is more to me than this animated meat sack you see before you!" I think more than I do anything else. I am a ball of creative energy. I can fü¢k you sideways all night long but could we also sit around, talk and cuddle? I am both interesting & interested in how your mind works.

Please, help. I AM? Codependent.

oooh.... yeah. I've been that couple. You've been that couple, too. The one that no longer has any singular identity because both members are so wrapped up in being a part of the pair. God... if any of you see me behaving like that again, assassinate me. And before I die reattach my balls, would you?

Please, help. I'm about to levitate against my will.

Oh, man. Have seen the Wizard of Gore remake with Crispin Glover?







So great. I love Crispin and he is all sorts of creepy in this movie. Jeffery Combs is in it too but you'll never recognize him until he chooses it's time. Neither the original or the remake are that good. Serious, you'll the get the gist of the movie from the trailer. But I would rent it just to fast forward until you get to see the fantastic Mr. Glover's triad of monologues.

Please, help. It's not blood in my veins, it's ink.

It's like most rap songs where the artist just brags about how awesome they are.

Please, help. I never would have guessed.

You lucky bastards and bastardettes. I've been working on illustrating a children's book. I don't know what the title is yet so stop asking. Unless you're cute and ask in the most adorable way possible. Then you may say and do whatever you want. But this book has been taking up all my drawing/coloring time. This is where your luck comes in: I have a cache of about... I don't know... a hundred, hundred-fifty previouly unrevealed comics which all of you can finally catch up on. Enjoy.

Please, help me resolidify.

On February 24, 2009 I drew my 222nd comic. A proud achievement for all of us here in my kingdom. We have had a private orgy for the last 18 days. Pure ecstasy for everyone involved including, of course, the babies and old people. I am always jealous of them. They always seem to have the most fun.

As a gift from us to you, here is our most recent strip.

This one makes me laugh.

Nansen saw the monks of the eastern and western halls fighting over a cat. He seized the cat and told the monks: 'If any of you say a good word, you can save the cat.'
No one answered. So Nansen boldly cut the cat in two pieces.
That evening Joshu returned and Nansen told him about this. Joshu removed his sandals and, placing them on his head, walked out.
Nansen said: 'If you had been there, you could have saved the cat.'

Isn't that great?

I've said for a long time now that my comics are zen koans. When I first said it though I was kind of joking but the more I have been drawing the more I've realized that it's true. It's not the image or words or caption. It's sort of everything and then nothing in particular together. Wait to go zen for being so descriptive all the time.

Please, help. She makes me want to release the scream.

My gf and I went to go see the Munch exhibit at the Art Institute. It was pretty cool. What was interesting to me is that it seemed that he was a better artist before he started to become famous. It was only once he began to seem more insane that and sell a good story that his career took off. A Taurus friend used to say to me, "It doesn't matter what you're drawing, Caleb. It's all about the story." I didn't believe him then but now I think he's right.