Please, help. This one will bother my vintage sweetheart.

But I mean it in the sweetest way.

Please help me not be such a freak.

It was a botched nose job, the story said. Yeah, according the Elphia Gazette some old man was sick and tired of what everyone had been calling the EggplantSnozz for as long as I can remember. Guy goes in and then comes out with a Gator-Face. The Globe had a field day with the story. Neither paper gives that man's real name though because no one, not even him, can remember what he was originally called by his parents.

Please, help. It's not blood in my veins, it's ink.

It's like most rap songs where the artist just brags about how awesome they are.

Of all the creepy things... do not let your imagination wander on this one

90 year old placed in care after decaying siblings found in home

Posted Mon Nov 10, 2008 8:14pm AEDT

The decaying remains of three siblings have been found in the Chicago home of their 90-year-old sister, according to US media reports.

Police found the bodies after being contacted by a city social worker who knew the woman, Margaret Bernstorff, the Chicago Sun-Times newspaper reported.

Elaine Bernstorff died in her 60s sometime in the 1970s, while another sister, Anita, died in May aged 98. A brother, Frank, died in 2003, aged 83.

All three died of natural causes, according to an official with the Cook County Examiner's Office, which examined the remains Saturday.

The bodies, some covered with blankets, were found Friday in different rooms of the Victorian-era house in the upscale Chicago suburb of Evanston.

Investigators continued to probe how the frail nonagenarian could have kept the bodies at home, but no charges were filed.

Neighbours of Margaret Bernstorff knew she was a pack rat, but none imagined that along with the old furniture and stacks of old newspapers, she was storing the three decaying bodies of her siblings.

"I'm shocked. I think we're all shocked," Evanston contractor Allan Redmond, who had become friendly with Ms Bernstorff after doing repairs on her home, said.

"A few weeks ago I asked her about her sister [Anita] because it had been a long time since I'd seen her. She said that her sister was sick and upstairs, but I couldn't have imagined something like this."

The Bernstorff family had lived in the historic Evanston neighbourhood since the 1960s, when Margaret's father, Frank, was an assistant professor of German studies at Northwestern University.

Frank Bernstorff died in 1966 and his wife, Lilian, died eight years later.

The home has since been occupied by all four of their children at different times, police said.

Some neighbours occasionally checked in on Ms Bernstorff, bringing food and groceries the woman did not always warmly accept.

"She could be stubborn and she didn't take help a lot of the time," Mr Redmond said.

The 90-year-old has been placed in a senior care facility.

- AFP

My hero.

I watched "Crumb" last night. I love Robert's style so much. I mean, it varies ranging from very realistic to full-on cartoon. But it's more the way that every image is chock-full of details. So everything is just so gritty. According to his official website he is illustrating the Bible. Which I think will be fantastic. He's 70 pages away from finishing Genesis so it probably won't be done for a few more years. Which means I should start saving for it now.

Please, help. I am a old man.

This is actually my hundredth comic. The freshest of the fresh.

Please help... my ticker's... on vibrate...

Congratulation on making it through another VD relatively unscathed. In Elphia, some of our elderly don't fair so well.