Please, help. Forest lawyers are scarce these days.

The ducks are afraid to fly in the sky because it will suddenly become the most brilliant blue color you have ever seen. It startles them, they don't like it. So they're opting to just walk everywhere. The hunter's obviously aren't to keen on that because it takes all the sport out of their hunting. But how would you like it if your fuzzy grey and white camo suddenly turned red and black? How would you feel about that? I don't think you'd like it one bit.

A t-shirt for you and your "gf"

Get a shirt.

Spanxilla: Defiant lyrics

Alright, new all-time awesome transition on Pandora going from Paul Simon's "I am a Rock" (released on the album Paul Simon after Simon & Garfunkel broke up) --> "Fight Music" by D12 which is Eminem's group rapping about how they want to fuck up all sorts of people. It must have been the defiant lyrics genome.

Please, help. I've never seen 1 that could keep.

Like most of these pictures, this really happened to me. That cat never really had a writable name. It was a sound that she came too. Ktty. Like a click and a hiss. She used to adore me. Would only be obedient when I asked her nicely. As she got older and felt she could get away with more things she stopped listening. So I had to stop asking her for things and started demanding them instead. Oh, she hissed, that one. Ha. And then would tear things up while I was away. Or relationship ended with a hiss as she snarled at me one last time and a click as I slowly shut the door.

Spanxzilla: Testing the Music Genome Project.

For those of you who don't listen to Pandora, you're missing out. It's a free-ish online radio station that you can set preferences on. It's all run out of Flash, and selects songs based off the songs that you vote. Each song has probably 50 things listed about each so that they create a sort of music zone. So I created Spanxzilla to test the very edges of the Project and how strangely music can be attached to each other.

The opening one is a real winner going from mellow, jazzy "I'm Beginning to See the Light" (Danny Willams) ----> "5:59" (Hototogisu) which is something like guitars feeding back in an ominous sound wave.

Here a list of all the genes in the project.

Please, help. I think I hear it ticking.

Seeing where there is love and where there isn't is really bringing out the loneliness in those left to be black and white. I changed almost instantly. Everyone loves me. I'm not still black and white. The reason I haven't made a public appearance recently is because I've been busy with matters of the state. Of course, I'm in color. My aides will send you a picture soon. In color.

Please, help. We had no idea that there was a soul trapped in there.

The last few days haven't been so bad for us. More and more we've been getting used to our changing world. We have noticed that color has been emerging from places where love exists. It's funny. No one expected it to come from the hugging machine. I guess we all only think of that thing when we need a hug but I guess a lot of people use it. It changed before most of the churches here did, is all I'm saying

Please, help. No can has been left untapped.

A cola would have never even considered a sprite before... stupid color! Citizens, I regret to inform you that this change we're going through is completely out of your government's hands. Put we are a strong people. And we will survive.

Please, help me quit the V.

This never would have been possible before color came here.... grumble, grumble....

Please, help. I have never seen such brilliance.

It came much earlier than we supposed! Deep gray alert! Deep gray alert! Color is forcing it's way into our kingdom! We may be able to resist it a little longer. Only see things in black and white. Focus now! on what is right! and what is wrong! Differences. The color says that there is a spectrum and always leads back to itself. We can't have that, we need clear definition. Lines and empty space!

The gates have been opened.

Dearest Citizens, I write you today about a great moment in history. One to be preserved and remembered. You will get to tell your grandkids about where you were the moment you read this post. The gates have been opened! They are now inviting people into :

Please, help. My purpose is so singular.

The time lag that exists between Elphia and everywhere else is kind of amazing. For instance while color hit the world in the late 1950s (a decade or so later is some places) it still hasn't arrived in the Kingdom and won't for at least another six months. How do I know so much? Peek-throughs, my daft little citizen. We had our bravest soul journeyed out into space where he could observe XTR-9, a planet lightyears from here that is riddled with peek-throughs. They say it comes to every planet. And now I know Elphia will be no exception. We'll get through this together, citizen.

Baby!

He just has such a sincere laugh.

Please, help. Two ladies is not better than one.

Flirting is fun. By that I mean by fun banter-y talk eases sexual tension because it's become a game. And I'm am all about freedom and the ladies. It just becomes a problem when I have a girlfriend but the girl I'm talking to doesn't know it. I'm just being friendly and cool. A rakish tease. Day's later I get this call and then I realize that I don't have the freedom that I wanted. Oh, I don't want to cheat on my girl. I like her. I'm with her for good reasons. But I recognize the inability to talk freely now and move about however I want. It's good. But taxing, sometimes.

Please, help. They threw the party for me yesterday.

Don't you hate it when people on invite you in time to clean up a party? That's kind of like where I live. It looks like someone just had an awesome party and I showed up just as the last person left.