Please, help. We can't put our life on hold indefinitely!

Heh, heh, heh. I tricked those that random assortment of objects. I told them I was having a little get together that Cornucopia didn't know about. Then they all looked disappointed, so I told them he didn't know about it yet if they just closed their eyes.... Heh, heh. That kept them still. Then I ran off. And Cornucopia is never going to show up. Ha, ha! Ha, ha! Ha HA aha ha ha!

Please, help. The Lord works in mysterious and overbearing ways.

...and out a distant galaxy stepped God! Phasing into existence right in front of a nut crank machine. Apparently even God knows that the best nut you ever got comes from an Elphian Nut Crank ®. I just wish that he had replaced the floor when he left.

Please, help. All the test results are negative.

I had some scientist looking into the source of the color that has been spreading ever more rapidly across our kingdom. So far they have shown that that it is irreversible and not only takes over things that are filled with love but also things that are consumed with emotion, period. Which has been detrimental, to be sure, in some cases.

This just made me laugh.

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Please, help. This is easier than planning a meeting.

Spanxzilla: Old country can be just like walking on broken glass.

Sometimes I think that the project has taken on a highly ironic sense of humor. Right in the middle of a classic country run (Johnny Cash, Tommy Cash, Lefty Frizzell) it pops in Annie Lennox's "Walking on Broken Glass" with a little wink and a smile and then goes right back the country. If it's not trying to say something then I don't know what to think.

Please! Help me out of the color trap!

I don't think I can describe to you the terror. Booby traps? I was expecting booby traps. I've met all sorts gizmos throughout the maze. But lasers?! In color?! I can't help myself. Why should I even fight for survival against a cube with color? I give up, sear me into cube-shaped pieces.

Please help: "The High 5 caught at a Low Moment."

Please, do not high 5 your monitor. Thank you. ~ Management.

Spanxzilla: The church is a circus.

Someone hit me back if they can figure this one out:
Britney Spears "Circus" --> "Dirigatur, Gradual In Mode 7 (Liber Usualis, No 1060a): Dirigatur" performed by Alberto Turco (Gregorian Chant)

It is by far the furthest fluctuation that I have ever seen in the music genome project. It's not for lead vocals, not for excessive vamping, not danceable beats. Possibly attention paid to recording quality? That's the closest I can come.

Please help us deal with it in our own private way.

Candle massacre on his 22nd birthday. Proof again that life is wildly out of our control. We're stuck in the frosting of our reality.

Please, help. I've been there, doing that.

We have one rule about psychedelics in Elphia it goes something like this (although I may be paraphrasing a bit here): "You are welcome to do as much [brainfireworks] as you want as long as you stay in this glass case for all of us to observe you and you don't kill yourself." The kids always get a kick out of those exhibits.

Spanxzilla: Beck falls in love with water.

So this is a kind of confusing one, I can't quite make out which strand it was following.

The chain started with "E-Pro", Beck (it kind of sounds like... Beck) --> Danny Seward (who sounds like a young Nat King Cole) "When I Fall in Love" --> "Around the World", Aqua (off of Aquarius, the follow-up to Aquarium, the album with "Barbie Girl" on it)

Spanxzilla: Julian Casablancas has an angry inch

A honorable mention in the annals of Spanxzilla: starting with "Razorblade" by the Strokes (...my feeling's are more important than yours...) --> The movie rendition of "Angry Inch" (...six inches forward and five inches back...). Maybe it's for aggressive lyrics because it went Violent Femmes, "Country Death Song", a murder ballad that sounds only like the Violent Femmes can, whiney and with good guitar work.

Please help. The later bird gets a foot bath.

Why does it seem that the lazy seem to be smart enough to find ways to mooch off of other people but not smart enough to be able to get those things for themselves?

Spanxzilla: U2 is a choir

A great one today, as it went from one of my favorite songs, U2 "Acrobat" to "Cantemus Domino, Canitcum" by the mostly anonymous, and I quote Pandora, "Chant, Gregorian." It must be the use of a strong male singer, and something about discordant harmonies.