Please, help. Even the music in my head is emo.

Tragic. I know. What's the point of anything really. Let's all climb inside our own cradles of filth and confess things to our dashboards while we're looking for our new found glory. Tragic.

I know.

Please, help. Even Elphia's skeletons are cute.

Please, help those who send morons to do their work for them.

I can't stand incompetence. There's nothing that bothers me more than people that are unwilling to learn because they won't apply themselves.

Please help me not be such a freak.

It was a botched nose job, the story said. Yeah, according the Elphia Gazette some old man was sick and tired of what everyone had been calling the EggplantSnozz for as long as I can remember. Guy goes in and then comes out with a Gator-Face. The Globe had a field day with the story. Neither paper gives that man's real name though because no one, not even him, can remember what he was originally called by his parents.

Please, help. I've stabbed out my eyes.

I drew this one while dating my last gf. Her birthday was on the exact same day as my mother's. At first I thought it was pretty neat and then I realized how much my mom and I just don't get along. And why. I guess I should be greatful to her. And in a way, I am. Still, I did feel like stabbing my eyes out. That Oedipal thing isn't always the fuzzy bunnies it pretends to be.

Please, help... the ol' ball 'n' chain.

It's funny how things that you don't like about yourself can so slowly become your permanent habits. Like chewing your nails or smoking. "It's just this once and then I won't do it anymore," you say to yourself. But then you find yourself doing it more and more. And doing it even when you're not prompted by the outside stimulus that was making it happen before. Then notice by contrast how hard it is to keep good habits going? You can try and try to make something like going to the gym or eating better part of your routine but you slip up once or twice and nada. So here's my idea, make the things that are good for you like guilty pleasures. And punish yourself with things like chocolate and cigarettes.

The D is for Danger

This is one of the earliest art sculptures I have done. I won't bother to list the specific materials because you can see most of them very clearly.

Everyone is perpetually asking me what the D stands for in my name. So I made this. I think it should clear up that question for a very long time.