Please, help; eye lost.

Bloom Gone Wild.

You may remember an earlier version of this "A Sleeping Bloom" but now it's gone through further renovation. I really like the original image which was just at photograph of Bloom sleeping but it's turned into something very cool. This design now available as a shirt If you bought an earlier version be glad that yours just became rare.

Please help me get the treat.

This is probably the coolest one that I have done recently. It's maybe a week old. Happy X Mass.

Please help everyone except the aliens.

Since I made you sit through all those old ones here are some of the most recent. I like this one because it's so simple. Enough said.

Please, help. I only make good 2nd impressions.

And this one is probably the 5th comic I drew. You can still smell the style developing.

Please, help. The Big Dog does what he wants.

Another pretty early strip. Always, that Big Dog gets me down. And we just have to stand there and wait for it to drop.

Please, help. I like her because she's nuts.

This is a really early one that hasn't seen the light of day yet. I guess that's what this week will be dedicated to, finding some really old ones. Love it or hate it. Either way, I'm already over it.

An X-mas Rorschach

My roommate wanted some xmas cards for his friends. So turned this out. It actually looks just like my roommate. And it's funny, too, because the longer the you look at this penguin the more you'll see how you feel about the holidays. Look at the little guy. Let's call him, Mark. Look at Mark and say, "Mark looks..." The more you talk about how Mark looks to you the more you should realize that it's you you're talking about. Weird how our brain works.

Also, if you want this eerie reminder that every social interaction is 80% projection, it's available as a card.

Please, help us survive the Salem Cookie Trials

I came across this little scene in the fridge of which I thought you should be aware. And the dunking wasn't just being reserved for the cookies, either.

A Sleeping Bloom

Bloom, a friend of mine, had this picture taken of him. I liked it a lot and wanted to make it more... illustrated, I guess. It's now available as a t-shirt.

Please, help. Candy High is dangerous.

Please, help. The summer pixies are eating me alive.

Please, help. I'm only super sometimes.

Finally, my superpowers are again useful.

Return to a place called Home

This is a remix of a friends work. I just loved the pieces independent of each other and wanted them to be a congruent image. The main image is done in pastels and I unfortunately don't do it justice in the PC rendering. She also did the intricate line work in the background. simply beautiful.

Please, help. I've found my own, "Measure of Comfort."

I think I saw the first preview for this movie when I went to see "The Dark Knight" this summer. Now, I'm not into Bond films (most action movies are ridiculous to me because they're mostly just explosions and fighting) so when I saw the title of this one I just died laughing. I couldn't stop. The whole theatre was quietly sitting in awe as the silhouette of Bond comes over the hill carrying what looks like a sniper rifle. And I'm dying in one of the first or second rows. The title sounds so technological and tough but is really soooo cheezy.

Of all the creepy things... do not let your imagination wander on this one

90 year old placed in care after decaying siblings found in home

Posted Mon Nov 10, 2008 8:14pm AEDT

The decaying remains of three siblings have been found in the Chicago home of their 90-year-old sister, according to US media reports.

Police found the bodies after being contacted by a city social worker who knew the woman, Margaret Bernstorff, the Chicago Sun-Times newspaper reported.

Elaine Bernstorff died in her 60s sometime in the 1970s, while another sister, Anita, died in May aged 98. A brother, Frank, died in 2003, aged 83.

All three died of natural causes, according to an official with the Cook County Examiner's Office, which examined the remains Saturday.

The bodies, some covered with blankets, were found Friday in different rooms of the Victorian-era house in the upscale Chicago suburb of Evanston.

Investigators continued to probe how the frail nonagenarian could have kept the bodies at home, but no charges were filed.

Neighbours of Margaret Bernstorff knew she was a pack rat, but none imagined that along with the old furniture and stacks of old newspapers, she was storing the three decaying bodies of her siblings.

"I'm shocked. I think we're all shocked," Evanston contractor Allan Redmond, who had become friendly with Ms Bernstorff after doing repairs on her home, said.

"A few weeks ago I asked her about her sister [Anita] because it had been a long time since I'd seen her. She said that her sister was sick and upstairs, but I couldn't have imagined something like this."

The Bernstorff family had lived in the historic Evanston neighbourhood since the 1960s, when Margaret's father, Frank, was an assistant professor of German studies at Northwestern University.

Frank Bernstorff died in 1966 and his wife, Lilian, died eight years later.

The home has since been occupied by all four of their children at different times, police said.

Some neighbours occasionally checked in on Ms Bernstorff, bringing food and groceries the woman did not always warmly accept.

"She could be stubborn and she didn't take help a lot of the time," Mr Redmond said.

The 90-year-old has been placed in a senior care facility.

- AFP

Please, help. All my milk has been jugged.

While not totally true (they haven't got /all/ of my milk, (I making more by the second)) I do feel more and more drained by my 9-5. Anybody could do it. If they could get a monkey trained they could have someone working for peanuts, literally. It's just that it's easier to train humans (we did evolve for nothing, you know).

Actually, this comic has more like a compare/contrast with the last one. I may not be hip but at least my life can't be interchanged with someone else's; without some difficulty, anyway.

Please, help. I have a problem fitting into those round holes.

I think it's mainly that I don't try. I have a hard time figuring out what "hip" is. And then I see things that are "in" & I just think it's gross. So that sort of contributes to the whole not-wanting-to-figure-it-out thing. Paisley is in again this year. Also plaid. So I've noticed but it's like what? Was it ever gone? I thought Eddie Vedder made that possible.

Please, help. Almost all the mud's been slung.

Inspired by the dark poet, Mister Bill Hicks.

A letter to an editor and other interested parties

I recently sent this to an editor in response to the statement, "I don't get it." It is a statement that has been said to me a number of times since I began drawing the strip. I've never actually so fully responded before and so I when I did I was a little amazed at myself for summing up my vision on this strip, and comedy in general, so well. Read it or not, I was just glad that I wrote it and wanted to share.

The following has been edited slightly from the original to leave the recipient out of the conversation:

"Let me give an explanation of what I do and maybe it will help you understand where I and my comics are coming from. It will not necessarily make them funny to you but at least you'll know. All of [the comics on this blog] are the ones that are more recently released to the public. The ninja fighting the beast (Please, help. Preconception kills.) is one that I've drawn most recently [as of October 2008].

First, I don't try to make jokes when I draw. I think that jokes are cheap and only work in specific instances for certain people. They generally rely on pop culture references or puns. Those type of comics have a very short life span with little-to-no replay value. Instead I try to create as real a scene as possible in my kingdom, Elphia, where the characters have feelings and reactions to the things that are going on around them. There is an inert truth underlying all of them; the laughter does come from trying to be witty but because my audience recognizes that truth in their own life. I'll use the ninja one as an example. We've all faced some insurmountable obstacle that must be taken on in the moment and if we stop to over think it, it will kill us (metaphorically most times but sometimes literally). There is no "joke" there, simply the honest laugh that comes when an audience empathizes.

Second, I see comics as works of art. It is entertainment at it's highest form. You'll often see comics poorly or incompletely drawn because the cartoonist only needs a stage for his funny caption. I try to create a complete image so that this becomes a real world for the reader's imagination. The thing that gives my strip readability is that it's like a photograph into a different reality. It's appealing to the eye. After one sees the initial image there's more for them to see and explore. There are unanswered questions that give the subconscious room to create it's own story. Again, I'll site the ninja strip. The two are fighting at night in open field. The brain begins to fill the details, they've stumbled across each other while the ninja was on a journey. The mountain must be the beasts' home. Any second now the creature's joey will pop out and run around. It is that fact that it is art that make my fans and I come back to view these panels time and again."

If you still don't "get" it, maybe it is because you are expecting this comic to be something that it is not. In this kind of cartoon there is no obsequious, observable punchline. Rather, the joy comes in the digestion of the images and concepts as a whole. You will see in these strips only what you bring in with you.

Please, help. Politics make me prickly.

Please, help. I've wasted another day.

Laziness is also one of the signs of a Slai yr. fan.

Please, help. I'm melting. What a world. What a world.

This violence is typical of Slai yr. fans.

Please, help. There was something amiss with the pizza toppings.

If you get it, you get it. If not, wait until you're older.

My hero.

I watched "Crumb" last night. I love Robert's style so much. I mean, it varies ranging from very realistic to full-on cartoon. But it's more the way that every image is chock-full of details. So everything is just so gritty. According to his official website he is illustrating the Bible. Which I think will be fantastic. He's 70 pages away from finishing Genesis so it probably won't be done for a few more years. Which means I should start saving for it now.

Please, help. I keep cracking the egg.

Any questions?

The most handsome dog ever.

This is Nelson. He is a very good friend of mine. I dare you to find a more handsome dog.

Please, help. I'm wasting each passing tick.

Oldboy meets Joseph Heller. Available as a print also at Dollop.

Please help me kill this Ugly.

The truth is that if you focus on how to kill the beast you are probably going to miss the subtle moves that it is making with its fanged joey. Now available as a T-shirt.

Hours at the Elphia General Store

Please, help. The Man has been destroyed.

As an ambassador to our neighbors, I left my kingdom and traveled to Black Rock City, the town across the river from us. I found many of our citizens already there celebrating life & sharing freely with one another. I stayed a week taking in the sights & loving each member of our conjoined tribes. At the end the Man was destroyed right in front of our eyes. I am told that it was an inside job which is good because there are no real terrorists to track down. Just some fat white guys in suits. They really have no good hiding skills.

Still technologically absent

Hi, guys. Please don't cry. I'm really not trying to hurt your feelings here when I say that I think that we need a little space. Right now, I'm kind of dealing with a lot. My machinery feels like it's all busted up & I need to take a little time to get it fixed up. I know the distance is going to be strain; you're going to wonder to yourself if I really like you at all. I do. I really do & I know that if you're just patient & accept that this thing will work itself out then we'll be okay. Okay? Here's a picture that I found to make us both smile.

Cannibals of Zmbae5

The Bark Bark Club has just released the box set of the Zmbae5 trilogy. OMG!!! Win, win, win!!



Marooned on Zmbae5





Search for Murphy





Zmbae5: Beginnings

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

Hello, my little friends & neighbors. I want to apologize for the big gap in both posts & comics. I went out of town for a little while as mentioned in the last post. When I got back my computer had been savagely abused by our house-sitter. The poor little guy is in counseling right now to try to work out some of the trauma. Hopefully, he will be feeling better in a couple of days. Don't worry, though. Just because the technology has stopped does not mean that the comics have. I have a pile of low-tech cartoons just waiting for the train to the future to come & pick them up. While we're together we might as well say, "Would you be mine? Could you be mine? Won't you be my neighbor? Please, won't you be... my neighbor?"

Please, help! My kitten's got wings.

Heads up. I'm taking a vacation away from civilization next week so no comics. Please, don't cry. Your mascara's running everywhere.

Please, help. Gender reassignment did nothing for me.

Please help save me from these fresh-faced tykes.

I really love the font in this one. If you have trouble reading it you may need to download & rotate. Yay! Post 111!!!

The King of Pain Boxed Set

Can you believe it? A second trilogy has been released as a sequel to the Great Something Trilogy. These three films follow Tasha's journey further into the unknown.




The King of Pain





The King of Pain 2: The Rise of Doktor Tasha





The King of Pain 3: Balance of Power

Taking it to the next level

This artist's name is Kurt Wenner. He was recognized as a sidewalk artist master in 1984. He does these ultra-3D images on flat pavement. Really cool stuff. See more...

Please, help shut off my brain.

& I do. But I have been studying Zen most recently to help silence all the chaos that happens inside my cranium.

Please, help. I've been seeing the deceased my entire life.

You've been experiencing this, too, I know it. I have a feeling that all of life is like this, actually. You know, everything we're experiencing currently has already happened light years before we ever got around to sensing them. All of the events that are happening around us are actually the end results of things that started positively ages ago.

Too good to pass up.

Wow, right? That is all that I can say. That wolf dances so well & does new moves all the way through. Ai-chihuahua.

Most recent in the You series

I finished this one a couple of weeks ago but I have waited until now just to make sure that I still like it the way that it is. As usual with the "You" series I stuck with oil & latex paint, with cray-pas & sharpie on a mirror. This one I'm donating to Pet Support for Seniors for their Bark Bark Club fundraiser.

Please, help. We're the teardrops of heaven.

Please, help. I'm being hounded on all sides.

Summer tiiiime & the living's eeeazy.... Suuuumer tiiime & the grass is hiigh....

Too cool to miss

This has been going through my head all morning so I figured I should probably let all of you see it as well.

Please, help. I am a horzzzz.

Sorry everyone. I know that I have been lax on the updates this month. My most sincere apologies, my brother was in town last week so it was a lot of running around time & not very much sit around & make art time. So, first here is the comic that goes with the cow one. You know, a down on the farm theme.


& then an early one about the joys of summer. It has taken me a while to post it because I hadn't drawn a corresponding comic. But, never fear my blog-kateers, you shall see the new one Friday! Stayed tuned.



And remember, I love you (even if I don't post all the fracken time).

Who's square?

I'm still working on those other ideas but I figured that I would try another one that was already working for me. Let me know if you want one.

Please, help. No one's going to buy /this/ cow.

Run Away to the Circus

Please, help. The week as revived me.

I'm really glad, after taking a little detour from my regularly scheduled life, to get back in the swing of things. It gives me courage again that life is moving forward.

Please, help. It /was/ a long weekend.

I'm not griping. I was fine with being away from home for so long. This did happen though which illustrated the effect that the length of time had on me. I woke up last night in my own bed & was completely disconcerted as to where the bathroom was because I thought I was still at my job. & it did kind of turn me into a monster. Sorry, Kitten.

Please, help. I'm marrooned with talent.

I was also stranded at work this weekend. I was there from Thursday night until Monday morning which, if you didn't know, is a really long time to be stuck in one place.

Me & ML

Not just the King but possibly the President

VOTE FOR ME!! I can be your write-in nominee.

In my home town, this weekend.

"

Medical helicopters collide, killing at least 6

(CNN) -- At least six people were dead and one critically injured Sunday after a midair crash between two medical helicopters near a hospital in Arizona, authorities said.

Rescue workers sift through wreckage from two medical helicopters that collided midair Sunday afternoon.

The collision, at Flagstaff Medical Center in Flagstaff, Arizona, set fire to a 10-acre area, according to fire officials, and another two rescue workers were injured by a secondary explosion after the crash.

The helicopters collided at roughly 3:45 p.m. local time, according to the Federal Aviation Administration.

"As you can imagine, we've got lots of heaps of metal to go through," said Capt. Mark Johnson of the Flagstaff Fire Department. "It's just difficult right now."

He said a landing pad on the roof of the hospital is used by medical helicopters.

Federal Aviation Authority officials originally had reported at least seven deaths and three critical injuries, but they revised those numbers after investigators spent more time on the scene.

Flagstaff Police Department Sgt. Tom Boughner said the two rescue workers were not immediately believed to be seriously injured. He said the helicopters crashed into a wooded area near a neighborhood and that no one on the ground was believed to have been injured or killed in the crash.

He said the fire had been contained by Sunday evening.

FAA spokesman Ian Gregor said at least one of those killed in the collision was a patient.

He said three of those killed, including the patient, were aboard a Bell 407 helicopter operated by Air Methods Corporation, an air medical service provider. The other helicopter, operated by Classic Helicopter Service of Utah, also was a Bell 407. The other four victims, including the one critically injured, were on that helicopter.

Both helicopters were headed to the hospital at the time of the crash, Gregor said.

FAA safety inspectors from Phoenix, Arizona, were en route to the scene Sunday, and additional inspectors from Washington were expected to arrive Monday morning. The National Transportation Safety Board will lead a probe into the crash, Gregor said"

The really shitty part is the last time that Flagstaff made national news was when The Prez Bush showed up for a speech. It's pretty much the same thing when you think about it.