Please, help! I thought they knew.

I swear, they act they didn't notice that my voice was muffled and my lips never moved. I have very observant friends.

You may have noticed, the Internet, that that color has come fully into effect here. There is the occasional black and white day but, for the most part, it's like this all the time now. It stops hurting your eyes after a couple of days.

Please, help. I have seen our future and it's bright.

Please, help! Survival of the fittest is harder in human society

Please, help. I'm a cartoon like just like anyone else.

Please, help. Even Elphia's skeletons are cute.

Please, help. My purpose is so singular.

The time lag that exists between Elphia and everywhere else is kind of amazing. For instance while color hit the world in the late 1950s (a decade or so later is some places) it still hasn't arrived in the Kingdom and won't for at least another six months. How do I know so much? Peek-throughs, my daft little citizen. We had our bravest soul journeyed out into space where he could observe XTR-9, a planet lightyears from here that is riddled with peek-throughs. They say it comes to every planet. And now I know Elphia will be no exception. We'll get through this together, citizen.

Please, help. I never would have guessed.

You lucky bastards and bastardettes. I've been working on illustrating a children's book. I don't know what the title is yet so stop asking. Unless you're cute and ask in the most adorable way possible. Then you may say and do whatever you want. But this book has been taking up all my drawing/coloring time. This is where your luck comes in: I have a cache of about... I don't know... a hundred, hundred-fifty previouly unrevealed comics which all of you can finally catch up on. Enjoy.

Please, help me resolidify.

On February 24, 2009 I drew my 222nd comic. A proud achievement for all of us here in my kingdom. We have had a private orgy for the last 18 days. Pure ecstasy for everyone involved including, of course, the babies and old people. I am always jealous of them. They always seem to have the most fun.

As a gift from us to you, here is our most recent strip.

Please, help. He's not dead, he's just been recycled.

His name was Paco. We had such good times together. On sleepless night he and I would go out and chase shopping carts together. Those shopping carts would see us coming and just freeze in their tracks. Then Paco would go bounding into them and they would take to the air. Flying in every direction. I'm gonna miss you, old boy.

A personal mantra

For sale at Zazzle So far this is one of my favorite shirts. Following closely behind this one:

Please just doesn't help sometimes.

Also based on a true story. He told me his name was Mike. The conversation went like this,

"Hello, my name is Mike."
"What's up, Mike."

"Hello, my name is Mike."
"Right."

"Now you know my name."
"Yep, Mike. I do."

"What's your name?"
"[The King of Elphia]."

"We're friends now, see? We're friends?"
"I'm not really sure that's - "
"You got some change? Please. I didn't know it was gonna get so cold out here."

Yeah, it's more interesting as a comic. Pretty much everything is more interesting as a comic.

Please help me get the treat.

This is probably the coolest one that I have done recently. It's maybe a week old. Happy X Mass.

Please help everyone except the aliens.

Since I made you sit through all those old ones here are some of the most recent. I like this one because it's so simple. Enough said.

Please, help. There's no place to plug this thing in.

It was Kermit the Frog, actually. & he's right. We're so used to just doing what is the most convenient for us that now that we're being told that we need to thing about what & how we're consuming it's like, "Phew, all these options & choices. It's way more expensive because we aren't really used to doing it yet. We don't have many automated machines to make bio-degradable bags so we have to pay an arm & a leg or keep heating up the planet with our petroleum emissions. " I don't have a good solution. Nor do I wish that I lived in the '50s when Americans were encouraged to drive gas guzzlers (and awful ones in those days) from sea to shining sea. I'm just pointing out the fact that the struggle exists. Don't look to me for answers; I draw funny pictures.

Please, help. Our planet is changing.

It's hard to say if it's one thing or the other. But things do seem different.

Please, help. I couldn't keep my cool.

pleez halp... spair sum change... n e thing

There's always someone hanging out in front of Hal's. But the old guy doesn't have the heart to send anyone away. So we just have to put up with it.

Please help a foreigner look himself in the face.